big explosion

quasars are baby galaxies

2005-09-30T06:19:52Z

I love astronomy so much it doesn't even make SENSE I want to change my name to celestial meridian

okay

2005-09-29T06:30:44Z

as for that "three hints" meme, I fuckin give up. dude, I'm so confused. so just...yeah.

what a show tonight. I sure did have a good time. it's time to go to bed.

i_like_redpants @ 2005-09-27T20:40:00

2005-09-28T03:39:11Z

THIS MEME ROCKS!!

respond anonymously with three comments about yourself, and I'll try to guess who you are!!! HAHAHAA!

quotes from my wacky italian teacher

2005-09-27T03:46:45Z

"I had such fun when I was learning english, I thought to myself, 'it is a language composed by drunks!'"

"So, if you have one significant other, amica. If you have two significant others...which is common...variety is the spice of life..."

"What is C- but a boyfriend of D?"

this has been an exercise in College Is Better

i_like_redpants @ 2005-09-25T17:07:00

2005-09-26T00:07:10Z

my italian textbook is in italian.

duh, kel, you say, it's an italian textbook.

but no. you don't understand. it's in. italian. there are no translations anywhere in the book.

luckily, I am deeply and rabidly obsessed with languages. Today I learned the conjugations of the verb "essere" which is "to be". SWEET! NEW LANGUAGE! FUCK YES! I also learned the alphabet and numbers up to 30. this might get easier.

what's this? an actual update?

2005-09-25T06:32:00Z

1) I've been scrambling at life lately. kind of like riding your bike through sand. my classes are wonderful, btw. I adore them.

2) just went to an ace-high vienna teng concert...absolutely wonderful...a good time was had by all.

3) I'm rather tired. I don't know why this is. I shall probably go to bed very soon. you're fascinated, I can tell.

4) I wrote a poem. and thought I'd post it here.

Let us go, then, you and I
with the glitter spread out against the sky
like a patient etherised upon some glitter.

My life
is the love song of J. Alfred Glitter.
I don't know how to say what I don't know to say,
and I still know it'll come out wrong,
and it's all underlined
by the presence of glitter.

a total of approximately twelve people
and one smashmouth song
have said to me "all that glitters is gold".
All that glitters
is little bits of metallic plastic
that wind their way into your hair
and stays there
like varicose veins wind around your legs
and boa constictors wind around your torso and neck.

at a ballet recital
I wore a dress that vomited glitter.
This dress was the ugly and scrawny younger sorority sister
of actually glowing
who got drunk at all the frat parties
and barfed sparklybits all over the stage the next day,
some of residing residually in my nose.

in world history
my teacher says that no glitter is to appear on our posters
because it gets into his carpet
and irritates his wife.
at home my flashy shelves sighed and slumped as I turned to markers

every school dance
every theater production
glitter sucked in its gut and gasped for air
forced a giggle and grinned until the car ride home

To gild
one coats a surface with some glue
smooth as possible. Say paper.
when the glue dries,
bend over the paper and breathe onto it slowly
for fifteen seconds. Three normally does it.
Exhale. Exhale. Exhale.
then press the gold leaf to your condensed breath
pull away
the gold sticks
and it doesn't quite glitter
and I don't quite blame it

ha ha ha

2005-09-24T05:47:02Z

if could change your days
arranging them in some sweet new sequence
like any new arrangement is going to make a difference
because it is the moment that you are living in
and not the one that follows that makes the mess you are cleaning in your head
and time still drags you forward
although you keep resisting
because you know it is what you leave behind you'll soon start missing

lj interests meme

2005-09-23T07:48:03Z

LJ Interests meme results

having non-clicky interests:
this meme is easy for me, because having non-clicky interests is really my only interest.

seriously.

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

five reasons to get out of bed tomorrow: a summary

2005-09-23T03:42:50Z

1) I am in an ASTRONOMY CLASS

2) I am in an ITALIAN CLASS

3) ...I AM IN AN ASTRONOMY CLASS

4) my brother, mast0r bak0r, made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

5) softer world posts on fridays.

i_like_redpants @ 2005-09-22T14:25:00

2005-09-22T21:30:08Z

well here I am at work house sitting tracy's sick sick puppy...trowser has The Kennel Cough. dog owners commiserate with the baby puppy. it's seriously the worst case I've ever seen. she's hacking up massive amounts of phlegm and shit. poor puppis. cowboy is miffed that her tracy is gone away (til monday in LA for a wedding). sad puppies.

today I learned that the people at CSU hayward admissions are powerless to help anyone. they literally have NO POWER. they cannot do anything except transfer phonecalls and sound like they're about to eat bullets. I talked to eight of them. their server is fucked up and they're like "lz lcnnnner it's on your end aoisnmxhxrrrr nothing we can do bnanmumble".

bed. bed. bed would be good.

you shook me all night long. and since I was only three weeks old at the time, I got brain damage.

2005-09-21T05:30:24Z

after a subject line like that, what else is there to say?

seven reasons to become a hermit

2005-09-20T01:44:29Z

1) can sing as loudly as is desired

2) don't have to bathe

3) don't have to close the door when going to the bathroom

4) don't have to deal with assholes

5) could befriend woodland creatures and invent sekrit language

6) no judgement

7) lovely scenery

a useless link song

2005-09-18T04:36:37Z

anaheim.

é tu, today?

2005-09-18T02:54:49Z

1) looks like I'll be going back to seattle in october with my momma. so she can meet connie, jake, hensen, and their dog, primarily, along with laura and josh...and of course so she can see brad, curtis, and mr. sebastian.

2) american beauty is a superfly movie, and because is a beautifully crafted song.

3) the sweater of ultimate comfortosity is mine.

4) I'm going to go jump on my bed, because sometimes that is what makes a person happy. okay so more like all the time.

holy crapz0r!

2005-09-15T07:14:29Z

I got my first invite to an invitational slamz0r! SWEET! I'm super psyched! took second this fine evening. stephen took first, which means somebody awesome, or at least me, has to win next week...I totally want to battle...

(new format: winners of 2 consecutive weeks do a 5 round battle the 3rd week..superfly, eh?)

either way. I should not have slammed with this seeming sickness that is beginning to assault my throat and nostrils. I want to stay in bed all day but alas...work...faaah...

I cut my hair today. it's ragged. but it'll even itself out (or at least that's what I'm telling people).

I got tagged

2005-09-14T02:59:26Z

for a meme.

so I'm doing it.

01. Sometimes after a long day, I'll buy a tube of Nestle's chocolate chip cookie dough for 4.49 (used to be 3.49) and eat the whole damned thing.

02. In Valentine's day season, I buy huuuuge bags of brach's conversation hearts and...you guessed it, eat the whole thing.

03. when I was little, I would not eat meat. I remember fondly my first hamburger.

04. once my mom made shark and explained that she had made shark by sneaking into my room and then bouncing on my bed and singing the "jaws" theme.

05. I have never been to a have-to-wear-a-suit restaurant, and I really don't care to ever go to one.

06. I can remember going to one wedding, and the food? was horrible. the creampuffs were delicious, but the entrees tasted like tar.

07. I'm a really picky eater. If I haven't tried something before and I have no desire to, I just say that I've tried it and that I think it's gross. Unless I'm with company, in which case I eat everything, because that's the polite thing to do. sometimes I get surprised.

08. I've said "I'll eat my hat" about forty times, and realized promptly after each time that I am, indeed, wearing a hat and probably will, indeed, be called upon to consume it.

09. I had ice cream for breakfast today.

10. a chicken sandwich and nectarines for lunch

11. and obscene amounts of pizza for dinner.

12. Speaking of pizza, a Stevens Family Pizza Tradition is to order a bunch of pizzas (and sodas if dex or I is doing it), then go out into the addition and watch three or four episodes of Monty Python while we eat it.

13. eggplant makes my brother throw up.

as some of you may know

2005-09-09T04:57:13Z

I'm going to seattle this weekend from friday to monday...I'll be back at tennish monday night. I leave at six tomorrow morning. my plane leaves at six tomorrow morning. I leave the house at four forty five. or as my mom so kindly put it, quarter to five. that's a much more humane way of looking at it. gag me with a splintered ruler.

I'll be thinking of y'all. have an ace-high weekend.

-el kel

(check it out! it totally rhymes! plus it's awesome. made my week.)

man, I dig them poetry slams.

2005-09-08T06:55:34Z

sweet night. mesej 1 was doing The Ass Kicking

"words so hot my teeth sweat" (from the other feature, an emcee whose name I cannot spell or pronounce.)

"I suppose I can get a thousand earthquakes tattooed to my ass so I can just shake shit off" (mesej 1 and jaylee alde)

"Asians invented the Kama Sutra
and all those funky positions might not suit ya" (mesej 1--I just cracked up at this rhyme)

"so we met at a club, which is slightly more romantic than meeting on the internet" (mesej 1)

"this evening, our eyes will be morning the loss of our aborted apple" (mesej 1, poem about an abortion his girlfriend got.)

this was the first time I didn't make the performance lottery...aaron invited me to sacrifice first round, so I did. charles sacrificed second round with Awesome Haiku that I didn't get to see cause my momma wanted me to come home. since I've come out to them, they've decided that I'm not safe anywhere. like I'm going around telling random people. shock value's good, but I'm not that stupid. hate to break it to you, folks. fah. I reject it.

I wanted to read this really depressing and short poem, but that does not work in sacrifical positions, specially first round, I wanted to Excite the crowd,

There are so many horrible things about being in love.

Even when you're there, it's all
"I would die for you"
and
"I miss you so much I want to rip off my head"
and
"Our love issogood it hurts.
it hurts...so good.

It hurts so good you almost forget that it is,
that it IS so good,
because it is.

so good.

because when you want to barf,
you want to barf cotton candy
and everything you see,
EVERYTHING YOU SEE
makes you go
"Hey that reminds me of _____"
and then, you're like
"I have to show this to ____. She'd love it."
so you try to take it with you,
you scribble it in your notebook,
you thrust it into your pocket

and soon you're not
stuffing your heart full of her,
you're stuffing your heart full for her
only to hastily scoop it clean
like a pumpkin at 8 pm on October 31.
The candy junkies will be here soon
and you haven't found a candle yet,
so orange glop is flying everywhere
and somehow a seed got stuck in your eye.

and when you see each other, it's so good
it hurts,
and every second you're apart is like heartbreak
times a million
because it's unnecessary pain
burning muscles after you win a race,
panting and covered in sweat,
body saying No No No Never Again
WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF
WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES
emotions flung back and forth like an uneven metronome on presto
why
in the name
of god
do I have to feel this way
whenever
I'm not stroking your molars
with my own?

there are so many horrible things about being in love
that you can barely remember why you do it in the first place
like galloping and blinders and dirt in your eyes,
like chlorine stinging your nostrils and face
like pulled muscles and lactic acid

like winning by the breadth of a hand.

I wrote it for La because she pointed out that I have written exactly zero positive love poems.

useless links

2005-09-07T02:45:03Z

1) overheard in new york. genius. sample:

Guy: Hey, Paul! What's up?
Paul: Oh, I'm just going to hang myself. I mean, get some coffee.

2) for the patriot in all of us. go forth. watch. throw up a little.

3) a seemingly impossible ad for the new honda accord. if all ads were this awesome, I might consider watching TV.

4) and now, a fun fact. did you know that gays caused the hurricane? came as a surprise to me, too. a couple of my buddies said that they were playing pool the other week, but I guess they were just working on the hurricane. now I'm kind of glad they didn't invite me.

I think this concept is hilarious. no one else things this concept is hilarious.

2005-09-06T06:46:12Z

but just reading a depressing lyric and then looking at a cute picture cracks my shit up.

to me, coming from you
friend is a four-letter word
"end" is the only part of the word
that I heard. call me morbid
or absurd, but to me, coming from you,
friend is a four-letter word.

I don't even know what this is. but it's fuckin awesome.

gip, I think, is the term

2005-09-05T22:23:32Z

the roomz0r-o-kel is prepped for a new bed.

I eat celebratory pizza and make jaws icons.

eta:

new deskal area!

new bed!

I have not flopped onto my bed in years. YYYEEEARRRS. I had to climb and then faceplant. oh lord. the flopping is delectable. so good.

YAAAY A STUPID MEME!!!

2005-09-05T20:30:13Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet devkel? through jpizzle at a bright eyes concert.
2.~What would you do if you had never met cassul? I would be sadly jessica-free. my life would end.
3.~What do you honestly think of setissma? I'm madly in love with her.
4.~Would or did slush_man and whoisthespirit go out? not in the forseeable future.
5.~Have you ever liked dat_kine_spam? like, like-like? no. but he does play a mean git-tar. and oboe. and bassoon. and clarinet. and piano.
6.~If mskittieface died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? that she's such a life force it makes me feel like an amoeba.
7.~Would chriswizard and mieystrapurore make a good couple? maybe, maybe not...I'm not very good at that sort of thing.
8.~Describe glitterdemon in 3 words: thoughtful, snarky, jpizzle.
9.~Do you think deadvirgin is hot? she's a lovely girl
10.~Would mskittieface and featherduster make a lovely couple? I don't think so? plus they live in different states.
11.~What do you think of when you see whoisthespirit? in my brain: "hey look it's stephen, that wacky genius!" then I wave a lot.
12.~Tell me something humiliating about mieystrapurore: what?! no!
13.~Do you know any of silverswerve's family members? yup, all of them.
14.~What's aznhottie57's favorite color? fuck, I don't know. red. she looks good in red? I don't know!
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is word_smart? I abhor that word, but tony has a really kickass smile.
16.~What would you do if becauseicant just professed their undying love for you? find the nearest motel.
17.~What language does slush_man speak? he speaks english and some crazy variant of chinese, I think.
18.~Who is aznhottie57 going out with? I dunno...last I checked, preston, but that was when I was a sophomore.
19.~Is moondoggie88 a boy or a girl? a boy. I think. haha armando!
20.~Would xxxlil_llamaxxx and becauseicant make a good couple? nope.
21.~Who do you think mid_limbo would be great with from this list? shit, I don't know. he doesn't know any of these people.
22.~When was the last time you talked to deadvirgin? no clue. we never really have any classes together.
23.~What is dat_kine_spam's favorite band? that would be like asking some painter guy what his favorite color was.
24.~Does chriswizard have any siblings? yes he shore do.
25.~Would you ever date silverswerve? but of course.
26.~Would you ever date glitterdemon? naturally. she'd break my heart, though, and run off with some young thing.
27.~Is mid_limbo single? he's married to alcohol.
28.~What is aznhottie57's last name? bisquera
29.~What is xxxlil_llamaxxx's middle name? ooh I don't know...llama?
30~What is setissma's fantasy? chocolate.
31.~Where does moondoggie88 live? in SL
32.~Would you make out with devkel? haha! you say that like it's not obvious!
33.~Are cassul and silverswerve best friends? they hang out, but I don't think they're like this. I'm doing the little finger thingie.
34.~Does glitterdemon like aznhottie57? they don't know each other. HA!
35.~How did you meet xxxlil_llamaxxx? at school through some class or another
36.~Is deadvirgin older than you? she most certainly is not. about to turn seventeen on halloween, I believe!
37.~Is featherduster the sexiest person alive? you know it's true.

went kayaking in tomales bay

2005-09-04T22:06:12Z

absolutely fabulous. two hours on the water, the first hour point five of which was like paddling in melted butter hardened into a glass-like substance. or just really calm water. yeah, that's it.

we saw tons of jellyfish! moon jellies, all white, the size of big frisbees, with little pink clusters on their "heads". so cool. also saw a sea lion. then we beached on a random little cove and had a wade in the water, a nice temperature...austere norcal coastline to marvel at...man, I love having a paddle. it's maybe the most wonderful thing ever.

my dad has decided that one day he's going to be dead and then he can have a viking funeral in his kayak. I said "okay dad". then he continued to sing "sitting on the dock of the bay". successful day if I don't say so myself.

howdy y'all

2005-09-03T19:12:50Z

HAPPY BDAY CATE

to quench your doubts, I am a dork. I am a huge dork.

2005-09-03T05:15:19Z

this post has largely to do with the webcomic a softer world that I read religiously.

they update on fridays, somewhere around noon/one CA time.

I usually read the new ones between three and ten pm, depending on my schedule.

when I get home, I go straight to the site. I wait for the page to load, and prepare myself. then, the strip appears, and I focus on each word, each segment of the first frame, then I move to the second and contemplate the relation of the photograph to the words, and then, after I've absorbed the first two panels, I descend on the third frame without breathing. and then I exhale. and read it forty more times rapidly. and something inside me is a tiny bit more complete.

this is the extent of my absolute geekdom.

I worship a comic strip.